A bit of emotional instability hit me this past Sunday during the last leg of my trek back to Chicago. Rounding out the completion of what was an incredible and unforgettable 20 day journey, left me feeling revived and inspired. But deep down inside, I was also melancholy. Revived and inspired is nothing new. It's one of the main reasons I am so fond of traveling and experiencing new things. Returning a new person - feeling like you could conquer the world!! It's addicting. However, feeling slightly saddened left me weary. I had the time of my life these past few weeks, I was only days away from leaving again for what is set to be a life-altering trip to Cambodia and yet this itty-bitty grey cloud was lingering over me. Part of me wanted to kick myself in the pants and say, 'Really?!?! You ungrateful woman - what could you possible be down about?!?! You should be overjoyed from what you have just experienced, by the people you have met. Must you find the negative in everything?!?!' Luckily, there was a larger part of me that silenced my inner banter, stopped me from judging and allowed me to just be present - to feel this one out. Giving myself the time to reflect I realized, it makes sense and it's ok to be a little down. Am I grateful?! Incredibly - without a doubt. The dismay I was feeling is shear proof that I am exactly where I need to be. Proof that this past adventure was so notably fulfilling that I was sad to leave it. Sad for it to be over. Of course there are more journeys ahead to look forward to and as a whole I am incredibly happy. But it was moving - in a way - to feel that kind of sadness. The good kind of sad - the kind that makes you smile in the end.
"Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose it's meaning if it were not balanced by sadness."
- Carl Jung
photo credit: some random photographer/guy at Photo Field Trip
I am off to Cambodia today for a week working with Habitat for Humanity and then for some personal traveling. If you'd like to follow my adventures, be sure to follow me on Instagram!! Till next time ...